When we need help.
Most of us will be to afraid to seek help.
"I'm scared they will judge me."
"I'm scared they think that there is something wrong with me."
"I am not crazy."
These thoughts have been in my mind for some time. With a few too many suicide cases and a little too many depressed people around me.
The thing is, they did seek help. Have you ever thought that the help they got wasn't enough? Have you ever thought that the help was just the wrong type of help?
Monday 15 August 2022
Play With Fire and You'll Burn
"I am fire. Play with me and you'll burn. You have been warned."
We know fire can cause pain if touched but it provides warmth.
FIRE...
FIRE...
FIRE...
I see the flames in your eyes. Is that fear? Is that anxiety? Or is that just the adrenaline rushing in?
The fire within me is lit up due to the inconceivable energy that is surrounded around me.
What energy you ask? I. wish. I. knew.
This energy you see, it can determine your worth!
I say; Know your worth my dear.
The person that knows you will ignite the spark in you.
From the fire till the ash cools down, he'll be there.
That fire is you! Don't let it dim.
That fire is your power. Don't let it slide.
We know fire can cause pain if touched but it provides warmth.
FIRE...
FIRE...
FIRE...
I see the flames in your eyes. Is that fear? Is that anxiety? Or is that just the adrenaline rushing in?
The fire within me is lit up due to the inconceivable energy that is surrounded around me.
What energy you ask? I. wish. I. knew.
This energy you see, it can determine your worth!
I say; Know your worth my dear.
The person that knows you will ignite the spark in you.
From the fire till the ash cools down, he'll be there.
That fire is you! Don't let it dim.
That fire is your power. Don't let it slide.
Monday 9 July 2018
The Honour of The Lake
I mentioned a lake on my blog entitled 'The University Life". Many may not know the greatness of this lake. Trust me when I say that this lake is greater than you think! This lake is situated in my university (It's called the Lakeside Campus for a reason DUHHH)
It has been some time since I sat there for hours just to reflect on life but that is not because I don't want to but it because schedules became so packed and I decided that even if I am going to get stuck in traffic; it is fine. I just want to go back to my apartment after a long and tiring day.
But last week, I did get to go back there and look at the lake and experience the calmness again. This time was actually much better than all the other times I have sat here just doing some thinking or letting my brain have a mental breakdown. Why? Because I had my best friend beside me after months of not meeting. "Come on. What is wrong with life? What is so hard? Why is it hard?" That's the thing. At that moment, nothing was wrong. It felt like all the hardship just flew away just like that. Maybe that was what I needed all along. Just some time off with the people I love you know. I can surely say that life has never been better since the university life started. Since finals are just days away, it was a great way to de-stress.
The lake is a place that I know many of the students here take it as a place that calmness can overtake the stress even if it is just for awhile. Bless me for getting the chance to study here and actually have that lake on campus and not just blocks of buildings that have robots walking all over. I can tell you that the students here are all working like robots sometimes but you always see the human side of them being goofy and you know; human.
As you can see by now, this lake doesn't do much but it does a whole lot at the same time. It is just some paradox or something but a really good one. I have never thought that a lake that is in the middle of a university campus can change how I feel and give me peace.
Maybe that is just the honour of the lake?
XOXO
Till next time
~Good Luck for finals everyone <3
It has been some time since I sat there for hours just to reflect on life but that is not because I don't want to but it because schedules became so packed and I decided that even if I am going to get stuck in traffic; it is fine. I just want to go back to my apartment after a long and tiring day.
But last week, I did get to go back there and look at the lake and experience the calmness again. This time was actually much better than all the other times I have sat here just doing some thinking or letting my brain have a mental breakdown. Why? Because I had my best friend beside me after months of not meeting. "Come on. What is wrong with life? What is so hard? Why is it hard?" That's the thing. At that moment, nothing was wrong. It felt like all the hardship just flew away just like that. Maybe that was what I needed all along. Just some time off with the people I love you know. I can surely say that life has never been better since the university life started. Since finals are just days away, it was a great way to de-stress.
The lake is a place that I know many of the students here take it as a place that calmness can overtake the stress even if it is just for awhile. Bless me for getting the chance to study here and actually have that lake on campus and not just blocks of buildings that have robots walking all over. I can tell you that the students here are all working like robots sometimes but you always see the human side of them being goofy and you know; human.
As you can see by now, this lake doesn't do much but it does a whole lot at the same time. It is just some paradox or something but a really good one. I have never thought that a lake that is in the middle of a university campus can change how I feel and give me peace.
Maybe that is just the honour of the lake?
XOXO
Till next time
~Good Luck for finals everyone <3
Sunday 13 May 2018
Family Love and Going Home
13th May 2018.
Another year not being home for Mother's Day. Isn't everyday mother's day though? If your mother is a mother every single day, every day should be mother's day. You should appreciate all the effort they have done to bring you to this world and also bring you up to what you are now.
So yesterday, my sister and I decided after discussing with our parents that we would be taking the train home soon. I couldn't be happier with all the stress from the university life. Sometimes you just need the feel of home. You know how a house is not a home right? Home is where the family is. Where your heart is.
I am excited to home after more than a month. Well, it would be more than 3 months by that time. I can't wait to be in my yellow room. Sit at my study table( No longer a study table I guess). Eat good food. Sleep on my comfy bed. Have my little chimpy around (he is my super cute dog). Honestly, the fact of just being home is great you know.
It is always great to be with your family. I don't know about your but in my family, we have fun by just being together. We laugh and joke around like all the time. We enjoy just sitting and watching TV or sometimes just being there and doing our own work. Or even making trips out to just get food (we love our food okay).
Well, all in all, I love my family and cannot wait to finally go home! I hope you guys get to be with your family now or soon at least. Appreciate them and love them till eternity because they are always going to be there for you no matter what!
Till next time! Love you! And well happy mother's day to all mothers, ladies that are pregnant, people that act like mothers and even to those who are going to be future mother's!!!
XOXO
Another year not being home for Mother's Day. Isn't everyday mother's day though? If your mother is a mother every single day, every day should be mother's day. You should appreciate all the effort they have done to bring you to this world and also bring you up to what you are now.
So yesterday, my sister and I decided after discussing with our parents that we would be taking the train home soon. I couldn't be happier with all the stress from the university life. Sometimes you just need the feel of home. You know how a house is not a home right? Home is where the family is. Where your heart is.
I am excited to home after more than a month. Well, it would be more than 3 months by that time. I can't wait to be in my yellow room. Sit at my study table( No longer a study table I guess). Eat good food. Sleep on my comfy bed. Have my little chimpy around (he is my super cute dog). Honestly, the fact of just being home is great you know.
It is always great to be with your family. I don't know about your but in my family, we have fun by just being together. We laugh and joke around like all the time. We enjoy just sitting and watching TV or sometimes just being there and doing our own work. Or even making trips out to just get food (we love our food okay).
Well, all in all, I love my family and cannot wait to finally go home! I hope you guys get to be with your family now or soon at least. Appreciate them and love them till eternity because they are always going to be there for you no matter what!
Till next time! Love you! And well happy mother's day to all mothers, ladies that are pregnant, people that act like mothers and even to those who are going to be future mother's!!!
XOXO
Unplugged
12th May 2018. The day I unplugged for a few hours and how it changed my life just like that.
The day started early (6.45 a.m.) even though it was a Saturday. I woke up and as usual showered, got dressed, did my daily mindfulness and stretches, drank a glass of water, took my bag that I had packed the night before, grabbed my keys and walked out of my apartment. The ride in the elevator felt much longer than the usual but that is how it is right? Time slows down when you want it to speed up. I got in my car and drove to campus. The roads were clear as it was early on a Saturday morning and of course that made driving a breeze (with literal breeze too and maybe haze?? Or was it just the morning dew? I am not quite sure about that). I reached campus at exactly 7.42 a.m. and walked into the compound of the campus and as I walked beside the lake, I thought about last night; how I could barely sleep as my brain was wide awake when all my body wanted was some rest and sleep. I was disturbed by the fact that I am starting to live a life far from my life principles. The day before (11th May 2018), I watched a movie called "Prayers for Bobby" and that made me think a lot about life and what others including the closest people around me and even myself are going through in our daily lives that may seem like a small issue but do not realise that they can be developed into something far more complex in just a split second.
I went to campus for the Intervarsity Biochemistry Seminar and it was great. During the seminar, I thought of texting one of my friends that I needed to talk to him about what was on my mind as he has managed to clear my mind before in the past. Texting him and another friend of mine surely helped and I felt a bit better but that does not make everything perfect so we planned to meet next week.
Once I got back home, I took a long nap (1.5 hours?) and when I woke up I decided to unplug for a few hours and that was when things changed for the better. I turned my wifi and my mobile data off on my phone and went unplugged (except my laptop because I still needed to do my assignments). For a few hours, I didn't check my phone at all. Totally off the media and guess what? That was what I exactly needed; to focus on what was truly important. So I wrote a plan for my unplugged day. I planned to wash my hair, talk to my parents, do some of my assignments, chill and put on a face mask on, do my nails and most important was to stay calm and chilled and not stress out about anything at all. I felt so much better doing this. At 3.14 a.m., I was still wide awake. So I took my laptop and went into my room. I sat on the bed and opened continued writing this blog. It was part of my daily reflection and made me think deeper about what happened throughout the day. I would say that despite the downs I faced, the ups were the ones that I automatically highlighted in my mind.
You know what the best part of this was? The negativity was gone. It's not because problems that I hear and the negativity that surrounded the people around me was gone. It was because I was starting to trust the positive side again. I put my trust into the people I love and the people that mean the most to me. People that I feel would know what is the best for them, what is right or wrong and what they feel should be done. I leave it all to fate and work with what I have to make life the best it can be.
Just a note to everyone...
Even the most positive people feel down. AND IT IS OKAY!!!! Don't ever say "Hey you are supposed to always be the positive one. How can we be positive if even YOU feel down?"....... We are humans too and we have those days. But we get back to sunshine and rainbows real quick. Just give us some time and we will be fine.
"Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life."
Thanks for reading and hope you shall be surrounded by positivity!
XOXO
The day started early (6.45 a.m.) even though it was a Saturday. I woke up and as usual showered, got dressed, did my daily mindfulness and stretches, drank a glass of water, took my bag that I had packed the night before, grabbed my keys and walked out of my apartment. The ride in the elevator felt much longer than the usual but that is how it is right? Time slows down when you want it to speed up. I got in my car and drove to campus. The roads were clear as it was early on a Saturday morning and of course that made driving a breeze (with literal breeze too and maybe haze?? Or was it just the morning dew? I am not quite sure about that). I reached campus at exactly 7.42 a.m. and walked into the compound of the campus and as I walked beside the lake, I thought about last night; how I could barely sleep as my brain was wide awake when all my body wanted was some rest and sleep. I was disturbed by the fact that I am starting to live a life far from my life principles. The day before (11th May 2018), I watched a movie called "Prayers for Bobby" and that made me think a lot about life and what others including the closest people around me and even myself are going through in our daily lives that may seem like a small issue but do not realise that they can be developed into something far more complex in just a split second.
I went to campus for the Intervarsity Biochemistry Seminar and it was great. During the seminar, I thought of texting one of my friends that I needed to talk to him about what was on my mind as he has managed to clear my mind before in the past. Texting him and another friend of mine surely helped and I felt a bit better but that does not make everything perfect so we planned to meet next week.
Once I got back home, I took a long nap (1.5 hours?) and when I woke up I decided to unplug for a few hours and that was when things changed for the better. I turned my wifi and my mobile data off on my phone and went unplugged (except my laptop because I still needed to do my assignments). For a few hours, I didn't check my phone at all. Totally off the media and guess what? That was what I exactly needed; to focus on what was truly important. So I wrote a plan for my unplugged day. I planned to wash my hair, talk to my parents, do some of my assignments, chill and put on a face mask on, do my nails and most important was to stay calm and chilled and not stress out about anything at all. I felt so much better doing this. At 3.14 a.m., I was still wide awake. So I took my laptop and went into my room. I sat on the bed and opened continued writing this blog. It was part of my daily reflection and made me think deeper about what happened throughout the day. I would say that despite the downs I faced, the ups were the ones that I automatically highlighted in my mind.
You know what the best part of this was? The negativity was gone. It's not because problems that I hear and the negativity that surrounded the people around me was gone. It was because I was starting to trust the positive side again. I put my trust into the people I love and the people that mean the most to me. People that I feel would know what is the best for them, what is right or wrong and what they feel should be done. I leave it all to fate and work with what I have to make life the best it can be.
Just a note to everyone...
Even the most positive people feel down. AND IT IS OKAY!!!! Don't ever say "Hey you are supposed to always be the positive one. How can we be positive if even YOU feel down?"....... We are humans too and we have those days. But we get back to sunshine and rainbows real quick. Just give us some time and we will be fine.
"Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life."
Thanks for reading and hope you shall be surrounded by positivity!
XOXO
Friday 11 May 2018
The University Life
Step 1: Choose a course in a university of your choice
Step 2: RUN!!!!!
When I say this, I really mean it. You are going to be tired and you are going to be exhausted that you want to just break down and cry. Trust me. I felt that way. I am not trying to put you down on the idea of a university. I am just warning you that it is going to be hard but it is worth it!
I was very lucky to have met the best group of friends and honestly I never knew I could be so close to a group of people as much as I do in less than a month. Our times together makes all the hardship of our daily uni life be entertained with humour and of course laughter. It is hard for us to meet up with all of us being together as we all do different courses in different faculties but the times we do, I CHERISH THEM!!!!
Now, 2 months into uni, life is getting tougher. We are tired 24/7. Lack of sleep. LIKE SERIOUS LACK OF SLEEP!!! But I remind myself that it is just one step towards my life dreams and it is not going to go as a waste.
Just remember that in this race, there's no top 3. It's winning or losing. Pass the finish line and you win! You don't need to sprint. It is a marathon. Be slow and steady. You do not want to faint in the middle of the race.
Step 3: Surviving
Last week was a tough week for me. I was thinking a lot. Am I doing the right thing? The answer is yes and no. Yes, I am where I am supposed to be and doing what I was meant to be doing. No, I might not be doing the exact right thing based on my actions. My parents and my sister tells me I need more rest but I keep pushing myself telling myself I can go just a little further. Maybe I can't. I need my rest. I need my break. A week ago, I sat down with a friend of mine by the lake and we talked. We discussed why I was doing this. He reminded me that my main goal was to be happy and made me think about what I was doing. Was it right? Was it good for me? How is this going to affect me in a long run? IS IT REALLY WORTH IT? Thanks for doing that and making me get back on my track that I was slowly going away from. A week later, I now am happy to say I learned something from that night. To know my limit. A day can't change a whole lot but it is part of the change. Take baby steps. Don't try to run when you can barely walk. You will get the hang out of it soon but do not overdo yourself. Don't kill yourself before the shit gets real cuz the shit gets real later but by then you will learn to fight stronger than ever. It is okay if you are not strong now as long as you are learning to be stronger!
Step 4: It is yet to come.
I am only halfway through my first semester. A long way to go in this University life. I can't tell you yet what is coming but all I can say is keep going. Don't give up. You can do it if you believe that you can!!!!
Till next time!!!
Ps: Give hugs! We all need a little more oxytocin when we can!
XOXO💖
Step 2: RUN!!!!!
When I say this, I really mean it. You are going to be tired and you are going to be exhausted that you want to just break down and cry. Trust me. I felt that way. I am not trying to put you down on the idea of a university. I am just warning you that it is going to be hard but it is worth it!
I was very lucky to have met the best group of friends and honestly I never knew I could be so close to a group of people as much as I do in less than a month. Our times together makes all the hardship of our daily uni life be entertained with humour and of course laughter. It is hard for us to meet up with all of us being together as we all do different courses in different faculties but the times we do, I CHERISH THEM!!!!
Now, 2 months into uni, life is getting tougher. We are tired 24/7. Lack of sleep. LIKE SERIOUS LACK OF SLEEP!!! But I remind myself that it is just one step towards my life dreams and it is not going to go as a waste.
Just remember that in this race, there's no top 3. It's winning or losing. Pass the finish line and you win! You don't need to sprint. It is a marathon. Be slow and steady. You do not want to faint in the middle of the race.
Step 3: Surviving
Last week was a tough week for me. I was thinking a lot. Am I doing the right thing? The answer is yes and no. Yes, I am where I am supposed to be and doing what I was meant to be doing. No, I might not be doing the exact right thing based on my actions. My parents and my sister tells me I need more rest but I keep pushing myself telling myself I can go just a little further. Maybe I can't. I need my rest. I need my break. A week ago, I sat down with a friend of mine by the lake and we talked. We discussed why I was doing this. He reminded me that my main goal was to be happy and made me think about what I was doing. Was it right? Was it good for me? How is this going to affect me in a long run? IS IT REALLY WORTH IT? Thanks for doing that and making me get back on my track that I was slowly going away from. A week later, I now am happy to say I learned something from that night. To know my limit. A day can't change a whole lot but it is part of the change. Take baby steps. Don't try to run when you can barely walk. You will get the hang out of it soon but do not overdo yourself. Don't kill yourself before the shit gets real cuz the shit gets real later but by then you will learn to fight stronger than ever. It is okay if you are not strong now as long as you are learning to be stronger!
Step 4: It is yet to come.
I am only halfway through my first semester. A long way to go in this University life. I can't tell you yet what is coming but all I can say is keep going. Don't give up. You can do it if you believe that you can!!!!
Till next time!!!
Ps: Give hugs! We all need a little more oxytocin when we can!
XOXO💖
Wednesday 14 February 2018
Will You Be My Valentine?
Love means togetherness.
SO what does it mean to be in love? People ask all the time, "Have you ever been in love?" , and the answer should always be yes because if you say no it means that you have never felt togetherness in your life. Being in love does not mean you have to be in a relationship or be committed to someone else. The love between you and your parents, family, friends and even pets count.
Do you know what is the most important kind of love? It is self-love. I don't think you can truly love anyone else with all your heart unless you love yourself first. After you love yourself, you can love anything and everything or anyone around you.
What we should remember is that when you love someone else, you should never give yourself up for them. You matter just as much as them. I have seen many people that forget themselves when they get into a relationship.
So today is the 14th of February which means it is Valentine's day. So what is this day all about? It is a day where everyone around the world celebrates love and the people they love. Honestly, most single people feel low on this day and they should not be as I have said above that love is felt by everyone and because of togetherness. Yes, couples celebrate this occasion with their partner but that does not mean that we, single people can't. Every year including today I celebrate it with my family just in a simple way that is by spending time together. To those that are still single, WAIT. Your time will come. Till then, enjoy life with the people around you and celebrate with them.
Last year I spent the day with friends in school. In fact, we celebrated Valentine's week in school and it was great when friends buy roses, cards, chocolates or even sing serenades for their friends. It was truly a great week. Friends just asked each other to be their Valentine and not expect commitment. It was just love between the friendship groups and it was nice to see and experience. So when someone asks to be your Valentine, say yes but feel free to say no and not force yourself to say yes. Have fun but you better be sure of the situation and not get stuck in a commitment that you were not ready to make. Get and give roses to one another. Spread love and happiness.
Valentine's day is not the only day you should be spreading the love. It should be every day of the year.
Since today is Valentine's day, I would like to wish you lots of love and hope you had a great Wednesday.
Valentine's Day Rose
Till next time~~
xoxo
SO what does it mean to be in love? People ask all the time, "Have you ever been in love?" , and the answer should always be yes because if you say no it means that you have never felt togetherness in your life. Being in love does not mean you have to be in a relationship or be committed to someone else. The love between you and your parents, family, friends and even pets count.
Do you know what is the most important kind of love? It is self-love. I don't think you can truly love anyone else with all your heart unless you love yourself first. After you love yourself, you can love anything and everything or anyone around you.
What we should remember is that when you love someone else, you should never give yourself up for them. You matter just as much as them. I have seen many people that forget themselves when they get into a relationship.
So today is the 14th of February which means it is Valentine's day. So what is this day all about? It is a day where everyone around the world celebrates love and the people they love. Honestly, most single people feel low on this day and they should not be as I have said above that love is felt by everyone and because of togetherness. Yes, couples celebrate this occasion with their partner but that does not mean that we, single people can't. Every year including today I celebrate it with my family just in a simple way that is by spending time together. To those that are still single, WAIT. Your time will come. Till then, enjoy life with the people around you and celebrate with them.
Last year I spent the day with friends in school. In fact, we celebrated Valentine's week in school and it was great when friends buy roses, cards, chocolates or even sing serenades for their friends. It was truly a great week. Friends just asked each other to be their Valentine and not expect commitment. It was just love between the friendship groups and it was nice to see and experience. So when someone asks to be your Valentine, say yes but feel free to say no and not force yourself to say yes. Have fun but you better be sure of the situation and not get stuck in a commitment that you were not ready to make. Get and give roses to one another. Spread love and happiness.
Valentine's day is not the only day you should be spreading the love. It should be every day of the year.
Since today is Valentine's day, I would like to wish you lots of love and hope you had a great Wednesday.
Valentine's Day Rose
Till next time~~
xoxo
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